Does Skill Automatically Equal Passion?

I guess my question is, ‘Can we be passionate about something we’re not good at?’ For as long as I can remember I’ve stayed very true to my role as the plain vanilla, box inhabiting, no-wave making oldest child. I’ll give you an example… As a child my parents bought a piano and informed me that my sister and I would learn. At 7 years old, I had never given any indication that I was desperate to learn piano, but never mind. I was tasked, so I would not let my parents, or the teacher, down. My sister, on the other hand, was not so worried about what was thought of her progress (much to my horror and stress levels!), and after a year she was allowed to quit and start dancing.

Spurred on by my sister’s brazen ways, I also expressed a desire to move my focus towards dance, to which came the reply, ‘No, you can play the piano. It’s much easier for you than your sister.’ …. Ummm, yea it is - because I practice like I’m told to do! And practice I did - but not because I loved it. More because the thought of seeing disappointment in the eyes of an adult sent a chill to my core that would keep me up at night. So for years I plunked away at the ol’ ivories. Did I get better? You bet yer bottom I did. Did I showcase my skills, unabashedly, at every opportunity? Heck no - quite the opposite (most people in my life these days probably don’t even know that it’s something I can do!). Did I fall in love with playing? Nope. In fact I grew to resent what playing the piano at a high level stopped me from doing. And it got me to thinking…

Just because we’re skilled at something is it expected that we automatically fall in love with it? And on the other hand - if we find something difficult, can we be passionate about it? The beauty is in the journey, is what ‘they’ say, so is that what we fall in love with? The chase? The elusive next level? That rush of endorphins as onlookers oooh and ahhh over our feats of greatness?

I recently took up skate skiing (read: I forced a girlfriend to give me some tips so I could get my cardio on), and I have to tell you people, it is not pretty! AND, it is freakin’ hard! But I LOVE it! At least, I love the time I get to spend with my pal, and I love getting to spend a couple of guilt free hours outside in the fresh air.

Last weekend, after hours of kilometres of sweating, and tears and clawing my way up the inclines, a lovely gentleman stopped me and asked, ‘Are you just learning? Ooooor, what is happening here?’

I know. I told you - not pretty. So, after an impromptu 40 min lesson (seriously, he was a lovely man. Albeit a tad harsh with his phrases of praise, ie- ok, now that looks almost respectable!), I was on my way back to the car super pumped for next weekend with my new arsenal of crazy xc skills…. Determined that any minute now it will all click into place and I won’t remember a time in my life when xc skiing was the most emotionally and physically, agonizing part of my day.

Now, in all reality, I’m sure my newfound enthusiasm for this excruciating activity lays much closer to the realm of novelty versus passion. But I just can’t get enough. The daydream of that elusive, effortless glide (and dare I say, smiling??) so close I can almost see it (ok, admittedly, that might be a strong statement - I am still kingdoms away from being able to smile and glide). Mercifully, my skillset is currently so non-existent that every time I give it a go I’m better than the last time I went out. What’s more, is that those close to my skate skiing journey are very quick to smother me in the most beautiful words of encouragement and appreciation of my phenomenal improvement.

Hmmm, now that you mention it… the ooohs and ahhhs - is that the reasoning behind the drive? Does the recognition play into the level of love and devotion, or is it strictly for the self-satisfying knowledge that hours spent doing something we love will make us feel amazing (as opposed to punished)?